Courtroom Exchanges

Week of November 2, 2026

Attorney: Can you describe the individual?

Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Attorney: Was this a male or a female?

Witness: Unless the circus was in town, I’m going with male.

Week of October 26, 2026

Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?

Witness: By death.

Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?

Witness: Take a guess.

Week of October 19, 2026

Attorney: She had three children, right?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: How many were boys?

Witness: None.

Attorney: Were there any girls?

Witness: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

Week of October 12, 2026

Attorney: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And what were you doing at that time?

Witness: Getting laid.

Week of October 5, 2026

Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Witness: Are you kidding me?

Week of September 28, 2026

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

Attorney: And why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Susan!

Week of September 21, 2026

Attorney: What is your date of birth?

Witness: July 18.

Attorney: What year?

Witness: Every year.

Week of September 14, 2026

Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Witness: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.

Week of September 7, 2026

Attorney: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Week of September 1, 2026

Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

Witness: I forget.

Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?